Since starting this blog I have come to realise that A) I am really behind on my blog lol and B) I need to get organised oh and C) I have been on one mighty rollercoaster for the past 5 years or so and actually I deserve some credit.
So many things happened in 2011 that I know I will miss some important things out so instead all I can do i merely summarise as right now my mind is consumed with the new challenges 2012 is giving us (which will be explained in my next post)
We were lucky enough to have a few visitors in 2011. Richards parents came twice, mine came once and 2 of my closest friends visited too. I cannot explain properly how this felt for me and perhaps only an expat would understand this rollercoaster of a journey. The feeling of joy, excitement and happiness when knowing your loved ones are coming to see you is amazing. you can think of nothing else and life feels good. The drive to the airport and the anticipation of them coming through those airport doors. I have also come to realise that airports are the places of emotions. Huge happiness at people arriving and absolute devastation when saying goodbye. Not everyone experiences the emotions as strongly I have come to realise but then again none of us have the same lives. We all have our reasons for how we feel towards people and situations and no one way is the right way, it's just our way.
anyway, back to our visitors...
so, they arrive, you are so happy to show them your new life and it is great. But for us we found that as each day passed in their company your emotions start to rear their ugly heads. I can still remember feeling such a feeling of dread that soon our loved ones would be going. Some people may count down the days to get someone out of their hair but for us it just emphasised a feeling of emptiness.
The drive back to the airport would be filled with silence, no-one wanting to face the fact that the dreaded goodbyes were coming. More tears to follow and then the lonely drive home. This, I think is one of the hardest things I think we struggled with and sadly it never really went away. Maybe it would have been easier with no visitors, (people often said) but I don't think that would of helped either because just the thought of how long it would be before seeing people was torture.
maybe i seem dramatic but you know what until you actually step into someone elses shoes it is not for anyone to judge. I have seen the look on other peoples faces of pity that they think we are weak for going back, I have had conversations with other people who don't understand why we felt so homesick but never have the guts to say it. But this journey has taught me so many lessons and that is that no 2 journeys are the same. Just because one family find it Utopia, others may not. It is not black and white by any means. Some people find being away from family easy, others find it unbearable. Some miss UK pubs (you laugh but trust me it is very common), some never want to step foot in the UK again lol. Many crave Walkers Crisps, Bisto Gravy and Cadburys chocolate whilst others love Hersheys (URGH), Tim Hortons and Bulk Barn. Whatever you like or dislike doesnt matter. I can personally say that I love bits of both. I have no hatred for either country. On the contrary, there are equal amount of things in the UK and in Canada that I love and equally things that annoy me lol. Its just life. No place is perfect but it is all about how you make life. For us, the homesickness and job situation for Richard was enough to make us decide to return to UK. So, we made our decision in November 2011 and flights were booked for Jan 2012..
After making that decision it was as if a big weight had been lifted off our shoulder and we were happy again.... (if not a little apprehensive ;) )
