Monday 5 March 2012

2011- The year of adventure

Since starting this blog I have come to realise that A) I am really behind on my blog lol and B) I need to get organised oh and C) I have been on one mighty rollercoaster for the past 5 years or so and actually I deserve some credit.
So many things happened in 2011 that I know I will miss some important things out so instead all I can do i merely summarise as right now my mind is consumed with the new challenges 2012 is giving us (which will be explained in my next post)
We were lucky enough to have a few visitors in 2011. Richards parents came twice, mine came once and 2 of my closest friends visited too. I cannot explain properly how this felt for me and perhaps only an expat would understand this rollercoaster of a journey. The feeling of joy, excitement and happiness when knowing your loved ones are coming to see you is amazing. you can think of nothing else and life feels good. The drive to the airport and the anticipation of them coming through those airport doors. I have also come to realise that airports are the places of emotions. Huge happiness at people arriving and absolute devastation when saying goodbye. Not everyone experiences the emotions as strongly I have come to realise but then again none of us have the same lives. We all have our reasons for how we feel towards people and situations and no one way is the right way, it's just our way.
anyway, back to our visitors...
so, they arrive, you are so happy to show them your new life and it is great. But for us we found that as each day passed in their company your emotions start to rear their ugly heads. I can still remember feeling such a feeling of dread that soon our loved ones would be going. Some people may count down the days to get someone out of their hair but for us it just emphasised a feeling of emptiness.

The drive back to the airport would be filled with silence, no-one wanting to face the fact that the dreaded goodbyes were coming. More tears to follow and then the lonely drive home. This, I think is one of the hardest things I think we struggled with and sadly it never really went away. Maybe it would have been easier with no visitors, (people often said) but I don't think that would of helped either because just the thought of how long it would be before seeing people was torture.
maybe i seem dramatic but you know what until you actually step into someone elses shoes it is not for anyone to judge. I have seen the look on other peoples faces of pity that they think we are weak for going back, I have had conversations with other people who don't understand why we felt so homesick but never have the guts to say it. But this journey has taught me so many lessons and that is that no 2 journeys are the same. Just because one family find it Utopia, others may not. It is not black and white by any means. Some people find being away from family easy, others find it unbearable. Some miss UK pubs (you laugh but trust me it is very common), some never want to step foot in the UK again lol. Many crave Walkers Crisps, Bisto Gravy and Cadburys chocolate whilst others love Hersheys (URGH), Tim Hortons and Bulk Barn. Whatever you like or dislike doesnt matter. I can personally say that I love bits of both. I have no hatred for either country. On the contrary, there are equal amount of things in the UK and in Canada that I love and equally things that annoy me lol. Its just life. No place is perfect but it is all about how you make life. For us, the homesickness and job situation for Richard was enough to make us decide to return to UK. So, we made our decision in November 2011 and flights were booked for Jan 2012..
After making that decision it was as if a big weight had been lifted off our shoulder and we were happy again.... (if not a little apprehensive ;) )

Friday 6 January 2012

Sharing life with visitors :)

we were lucky to have many visitors in our time in Nova Scotia and managed to visit so many beautiful places. If you have not heard of some of the places below, google them or better still visit them :)
New Brunswick
Peggys Cove (100 times lol)
Cape Breton (WOW)
Lunenburg
Chester
Mahone Bay
Western Shore
Eastern Shore
Annapolis Valley
Truro
Prince Edward Island- LOVE LOVE LOVE
and many many more.

The great thing about the Maritimes is that you can drive to most of these places and see little to no traffic. The drives can be long though but quite pleasant. Cape Breton and PEI are my favourites I think as well as Lunenburg. Beautiful scenery, gorgeous blue sea and sandy beaches.

There are many more places that either, I have forgot to mention or that I havent visited but it truly is a lovely place to live.

Pot lucks and Peggys Cove

So, we were settling in. Blow up bed gone and furniture in. I was very happy. This is what I had dreamed of. So many places to explore. New friends to make, new adventures to be had. The future looked exciting.

Within about 10 days we got invited to an expat curry night. Basically, part of the expat community arrange a monthly get together where everyone takes a dish and we all chat and eat. It was a great opportunity to meet lots of other people who were in the same boat as us. Like I said in previous posts, only an expat can understand what you go through.

Little did I know that this event in October 2010 would be where I would meet some of my closest friends here in Nova Scotia.
I think for me personally I found some comfort in hanging out with other brits as they understood the journey and in some ways I clung onto this as a comfort blanket so to speak. Time would show me that actually sometimes the only thing you have in common is that you are expats. And I don't mean that in any horrible way at all. There are many expats here who I am and will remain good friends with but also you can't just be friends with people because you were all born in the same country. It's like with anything, some people like surfing, some like football (or soccer to my canuck friends ). What I had to realise is that you cannot be friends with everybody just because you happen to have been born in the same place. If that was the case life would be pretty boring hey?

Anyway, I attended a few more pot lucks and more eating and drinking occured and I continued to develop friendships with people. Life was good :)

Christmas 2010 arrived and it was the first time I think I felt a real emptiness of missing family and friends. Christmas has always been about family to me so it was strange just the 3 of us. To be honest it was like any other day and felt pretty lonely. My dear friend in NS had also lost her dad in the Uk suddenly before christmas and it saddened me to see her griefstricken and really hammered home to me how important family are and how life is so short.

And sadly that sad feeling would rear it's ugly head many more times in the 12 months that were to follow.

We did our best to spend a lot of time exploring the beautiful province of Nova Scotia and in our time here we went to Martock (ski resort) to watch our friends and their children skiing. (some for the first time). It was great to see how the people here embrace the outdoor lifestyle and thats what brought me here in the first place.

We also visited Western Shore, Eastern Shore, Annapolis Valley and all bits in between. But one of our favourite spots has to be Peggys Cove. No, I had never heard of it either until I moved here and how can I explain it. Well, Peggy's cove is a small fishing community that houses a lighthouse. Now that in itself may not seem that exciting but it has been made famous as in 1998 when a Swissair flight 111 crashed into the ocean just by peggys cove and people go to visit the memorial there. I don't know what it is about Peggy's Cove but we refer to it as our happy place. Whenever we drive towards it we feel happy and relaxed somewhat. It has been a place for us to go when we have been feeling the expat blues.

Moving across the pond

October 14th 2010.
I'll remember that day as Doomsday (as one of my best friends called it).
A new life was waiting for us. We were excited that's for sure. Nervous? You bet. Sad? Yep.

So the rollercoaster had begun from day 1.....

I won't go through every detail of the journey but will try to summarise so that any would be expats, or expats who are having second thoughts can see my opinion. And that is all it is, MY OPINION. I am just telling you my experience. I am far from being Anti Emigration believe me. (who knows if we will do this again at a later date?)

So, back to Doomsday- both sets of parents were at the airport plus Richard's Sister. I remember having no appetite, feeling sick and dreading the goodbyes. When the time came we all kind of stood there, no-one wanting to start the goodbyes. It's a vision I won't forget. I remember hugging my mum and then I broke down in tears. Saying goodbye to my mum- who is my best friend was terrible. Seeing the pain we were causing to everyone who was there was terrible, but this was our decision and we had to follow it through....

6 hours later and we landed in the beautiful Canadian province on Nova Scotia.
We felt happy and the moment we landed we knew why we had chosen Nova Scotia. Friendly people, Clean place and a chance for a new lease of life. We were excited.
Our friend, Rachel collected us from airport and took us to our rented 4 bedroom house in Lower Sackville and we moved straight in.
The first night was interesting. No internet to contact family on SKYPE (I'll mention skype later lol). Blow up bed (thanks to Rachel x) and a travel cot. Boy, do we know how to live it up in style lol.

The next few weeks were getting a job for Richard, buying some furniture and making Canada our home. Lots of money spent in the first few months but slowly it was looking like home :)
Did I also mention that my wonderful husband Richard got a job within 4 days of us landing. Future blogs will make you understand how lucky I am to have him in my life.

Massive Changes to our lives 2008-2012

Well to say the last 3 and a bit years have been a rollercoaster would be somewhat an understatement. Let me explain-
In 2006 we applied to emigrate to Canada for chance of a better life for us and any children we may have in the future. It's not an easy process, nor is it cheap or stress free let me tell you that. So, I guess in many ways the rollercoaster started in 2006.
There are so many forms to fill in and photos to be had (with very particular rules too). Medicals to be had and a request for 10 years worth of payslips for the principal applicant (that being Richard my husband who is a car mechanic). Now for most this would bring cold sweats and fear but no, I live with a very well organised husband who decided many years ago that he would keep all his payslips since the age of 16. Maybe it's fate or maybe slightly OCD lol but it's just another reason I love that man :).
But you know what the hardest thing and probably the worst bit of the whole application process was breaking the news to family and friends. I had spoken for years about Canada and maybe trying things out and Richard's family knew we had been researching Canada but I think the moment we told them was pretty crap to be honest. I can still remember people's reactions and I think we had underestimated things somewhat. But that's one of the things I have learnt from this emigration process- things are not always as they seem and that the emotional and financial pressure that an expat experiences is something that only an expat can understand. I was guilty of being one of those people who thought emigration was black and white- "Don't like UK = Move somewhere else" But, it's far from that simple. I knew it would be hard and I was not that naive that I thought we would come here and life would be rosy but the rollercoaster we have been on was much more intense than we have ever envisioned.
My next blog will explain ....

Where do I start?

Well, knowing where to start is my first challenge of 2012. So, much has happened in the last few years that I feel a brief summary is in order, not just about the last few years but also a bit about me:
I'm me- Helen. Born in 1979. From Enfield, North London. Just a normal girl living my life :)
I have a brother and a sister, 3 nieces and a nephew.
I have been with my now husband for 12 years in February 2012 and we have been married since April 2007. In November 2008, we welcomed our most wonderful little son into our lives. Oh, and one more thing, we have a much loved westie called Archie who is 8 this year.

Phew, didn't think I could summarise the last 32 years so quickly. ;)